Praising God in the Storms

Earlier today, I was driving back from the hospital after visiting baby H. As I was driving, I heard "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns, a song that has spoken to me so many times over the past few years. I first heard this song after we had been dealing with infertility for quite awhile. I remember sitting in a hotel room in Louisville, Kentucky in the Spring of 2006 and playing the song for Michael with tears in my eyes. This song really ministered to me during what turned out to be one of the most difficult seasons of my life. At that time, we did not know what God had in store for us related to having children. We so longed to have a family, yet it seemed like an impossible dream. Each time I heard that song, I was reminded that God saw my tears. He knew our pain, and He knew that we did not understand why we were going through such a hard time trying to start a family. But I was also reminded that we should still praise Him, despite what we were going through, and remember that He is still God, regardless of our circumstances. Even today as I heard the song, it reminded me of these things and how God is God and that He is in control and that we have to trust Him with every detail of our lives, even when we don't understand what is happening around us.

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Over the past few days, God has brought to my mind several of our most difficult moments that we had when we were dealing with infertility (crying many times when I was alone, having extremely difficult holidays, etc.). He has reminded me that, during these most difficult moments, even though he seemed He was silent, He knew His plan for our family. He just wanted to do things in His timing and in His way. “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine" (Isaiah 55:8). Looking back, I know that as we dealt with each of those most difficult moments, God knew what He had in store for us. He knew that, just over 3 years later, we would have two precious boys. In a matter of just over 13 months, we would go from having no children to having a 2 year old and a newborn baby. Wow!!

Why did we have to go through such pain and heartache to get to where we are now? Michael and I have talked about this many times, and we know that God wanted us to remember that He is in control and we are not. We know that He wanted us to trust and depend on Him more, something we are both better at (unfortunately) when we are going through difficult times. We also know that, in the months leading up to us having both of our boys, we went through experiences that were extremely difficult and that, at times, made us wonder if we would ever become parents. Yet God walked us through the difficult situations. As we finally reached "Gotcha Day" with S, and as we made it safely through the delivery with baby H, we knew that God deserved all of the glory for allowing us to be parents to both of our little guys.

As we get closer to baby H being ready to come home (he's getting closer!), we are again reminded of God being in control and doing things His way, not necessarily the way we had "planned." And although baby H has been away from us in the NICU, God has been ready and willing to, once again, walk us through this particular season of our lives. And when we've really let go and relied on him, the "storm" really hasn't seemed so bad after all.

Baby H before his bottle

He seems to think something is funny! I promise it was a little smile! :)
Last night's weight
Daddy and his boys!

Baby H update...Last night, he weighed 3 lbs, 15 1/2 oz (1808 grams)! He also took bottles for 5 of his 8 feedings yesterday! He hasn't yet made it into the open crib, but it shouldn't be long now. :) Thank you for praying for him and for us!